Entire Three Word Story, What we have all created... Options

[Zerow]

What have you done?

You sowed the seeds for the greatest story ever, that's what!

And best of all, it's a never ending one. I can't even begin to imagine how long it'll be in two years time.

[Elasticbandy]

Mmmmmmmm update *grope*

[Cloaked Avenger]

This is awesome, if its still going in a few years time and we are all still here I think we should get it made into little books for ourselves. Alternatively we could just sell it as a comedy novel and see what happens, a film adaptation would be erm... interesting?!

[Wissam]

A film adaptation would be confusing is what it would be

[Elasticbandy]

A film adaptation would be confusing is what it would be

It'd still be funny though... especially if we all did everything ourselves... oh wait no, I mean professionally

[Wissam]

It'd still be funny though... especially if we all did everything ourselves... oh wait no, I mean professionally

But you would have to have a cast of hundreds....and each scene would introduce new, but apparently long established, characters

[Flamekebab]

..with a thousand elephants! ?

[Wissam]

Well, exactly...though CGI would cover a lot of it..and of course it would be rated 18a

[Trisdee]

-THREE WORD STORY- as of Sunday, August the 12th, 2007, 15:32 GMT

Jim was feeling a bit dodgy because he had a sore and itchy pair of disgusting pants which kept insisting on riding up his pile of filthy toenail clippings. Furthermore, large cheesecakes were out of fashion in the nearby mine. Jim then recieved the blessing by the big fountain located near slash next to an extra large local fascist convent whilst the sisters paraded GWB's banners which by coincidence he found that were rammed up. That place which is prone to shrinkage.

Then there came an incredibly horribly and ginormous Dilophosaurus-like creature which ate shoes, and had BO worse than uncle John's reeking pits when a bunch of rancid bananas had been mixed with a bunch of other extraneous vegetables.

So after that Jim backed off the spliffs and had a little sip from his immensly large umbrella which contained a kind of shakespearian liquid in the holy and magical and rather stinky, almost as stinky sort of thick, as uncle John's large rubber phallic orange juice squeezer which was full of that creepy slimey, glistening, black disgusting juice of liquid effluence, which when exposed to sunlight and garlic and vinegar, and possibly wang cheese, will react most of the time with hairy loo-loiterers.

Then on the eve of the 17th Sunday after arse-to-mouth day, everyone got together and did what people usually do when they get instructions on how to listen to the people performing arse-to-mouth on arse-to-mouth day. Now, arse-to-mouth day despite its name was really a funny sort of man-hole cover orientated on the west to avoid the surgical enhancement of already over-large breasts. Then what he thought was a possibly large broken pineapple, was actually a cup of very very strong squirrel testicle coffee, laced with volcanic rock which he skillfully confiscated from his own turd-grabbing mother. On the fifth Sunday after the time when Jesus received His sloppy rim job, Sidney pulled his funny sort of [the hr died] when he sort of collapsed in a very nasty big pile of toe nail clippings which tried to scratch my stomach very erotically with a flea-bitten sock which looked like a big glistening fish which took the time to tickle my tummy from what he thought it said when he looked round the bend and saw the way it swung.

Then on discovering the giant mango with the enormous sticky out bit with the very strange looking pickle on it's head he begun to wonder if it might have been some sort of Chinese delicacy. Alas, whilst hell-bent on finding out what the very very slippery lady-juice was, and how it had spilt into a great big red wooden funny looking sort of thing. Anyway, as long as we have our cornflakes we will grossly underestimate the healing power of extreme excrutiating pain, allowing us to enjoy the spectacular freedom with which we can do naughty things without being found out that we are very disturbed people, so we can be really good at glaring hungrily into what I thought was a [a] pineapple dressed in the skimpiest wetermelon ever worn by a very hairy man without the slightest hint of fashion sense Of course unless the chicken had a surprisingly large head which he could use to think of really interesting thoughts about small furry boys[.] [W]hich he likes doing regularly with a small hammer which he was catching the football in his enormous hairy white arms [well] saying "[a]merican people are very stupid about licking juicy melons while[...] they try to eat their own body fat during dancing like crayzy time at the zoo, in a pit full of magical tea birds.

After this they went to the tasty fish palace. And started to have what they enjoy the most which is a funny little gadget that vibrates and makes them feel very very VERY awkward. However, they have feelings toward a total different piece of laundry which compared to what they had is like a small ferret man. In the big scary blue train, that very small wooden bench where Johnny frolicked with pigeons, that like nice little things which they use to decorate their special place that is completely full of that shiny paper found in that box covered with pebbles.

During the morning they dicided to create a new and improved, modern robotice form of the sky which was green and annoying. But it could have been completely blank. Becase of some errors they heard when the french man told the story of Jim and his magical flute that[..] created magically magical doughnuts which turn the milk sour.

Of course jim was extremely wasted during the night of which he drank way too much - WAY too much compared to a turnip wanting doughnuts which turn into tiny pigs. Then along came a spider that ate tiny pigs while juggling massive badgers with spoons and thought it was a great way of getting a date with an overweight Dilophosaurus which had a fairy godmother, who had something growing peculiarly on her leg.

The next odd thing that stood out to the old creepy man was the giant fish which tale was a fan full of golden glitter that tasted like old rats on a day that they would remember because the other fish thought his mouth was his happy place where he stored the drugs that the purple frog had licked toad.

During a day of amusing happiness while Jim was eating apple pie in a dead tree wich he used to climb till he shot down a little and cute yellow apple mustard sauce in which there are dead monkys that were kinda smart they studied advanced physics so that they were chosen for a [a] pop quiz.

The first question that they had to answer was if chuck Norris was a gay or had a gay little friend with a large hat which he would wear to a homosexual parade singing "dirty deeds, love gay porn and also love Magical talking feet". Their answer was placed on the pedestal made of dimonds from a rock only found on the planet in a unique and small cave designed to record things of great beauty and wisdom. But the thing used the force to turn the great big wheel, which had the [the] plastic doughnut all over its head which was enormous and could dance like a Mr. Potato toy. So michal jakson gets all creepy about being with his new special friend a ten year old white wolf wich likes licking green tomatoes and playing games all through the morning. During the night he saw a huge brown deer which really wanted to take a very exhausting crapper while toasting a scorned handicapped bisexual with bacon and cheese, lightly spread, but the donkey spoketh and thy shall not tolerate being around such an ignorate little shit who should [who would always] crawl back into the oven of dried green mucus.

On closer inspection it is reveled that the thing he was looking for during the strange blue taco was indeed the strangely robust toaster. But what was felling A LITTLE sidetracked with a three word story that consumed the entire forums that couldn't be seen without a special htm code which could only be used by the ultraviolet wand thingy.

By the time people realised that everything had been set on fire by the one who in the film staring a dead zombie cowboy and a sweet Chuck Norris lookalike teenage girl. But according to the Laws of Newton there was a Giant green slug trying to beat the worlds most forementioned potato skinner which loved to go out and party all night.

In the end the most unusual thing happend when he took a hat and used a stick for soccer practice on his mother's favourite thong underwear set which cost quite a lot of small furry animals.

During this time he had realized he loved to use his finger to type long poems in soap that featured the only person who likes to eat pie with his spoon of which was called bob and liked to watch silly little forks going about their daily business which was to ensure that fire continued to burn inside the pants of the only King of persia, who according to the lazy cow is this first to go to the city of compton to see the world's greatest dancing camel of camelot. later on in the evening, when the mushrooms were picked from the only living volcano in sight, a man named fred. He enjoyed playing Tennis at michal jaksons house while jacko touched the youngest of the three cats. "sexual inudendos are only used to do dilly little things". Then he thought he might sleep with a cocolate coverd fish which was a little confused when he couldn't move.

Only when he found out he had fins he tried to escape, from the miniscule cage, in which the two of the Pokemon were charging themselves up by eating cabbage grown from the magic oaster garden in the icy cocke flavord water. Later the day after a brief gun admiring contest they went to frolick with large sausages beans and a great big pineaple. The pineapple on discovering that he could sing, About hating apple but not pine decided to conduct an experiment involving twelve kilograms of a certain illegal contraband, along with tiny, smelly feet that could be easily dissolved in a large vat of an unknown substance, aquired from small man.

Once the small man had mixed the evil brew up, which contained only 45% of the rough skin like snails and puppy dog tails and tiny human eating a light salad. He then decided to take the mantel piece clock which he found in the corner. when he saw his reflection in the mirror of doom, he realised that he was in the land of eternal peril.

On discovering this he made a funny gesture which according to laws of the planet was an extremely rude thing to die for. instead of the only hand made suits getting washed, they tried to knit a jumper to cover their crime. However, this only aroused more attention from below the depths of the grimy sea bathroom. This bathroom contained your mom in an itsy bitsy poridge by the bath which only contains water and washing powder because it's mainly used for washing cats.

Than something amazing suddenly became clear to everyone who was rather intentively [becuase of the] observing the incoming war over the vast gulf of the driest desert in the epicentre there was a ground shuddering noise so thunderous that even the devil could not stand to be persecuted by it's presence.

Due to the infestation of locusts -a type of fish eating doughnut quickly made itself turn into a rabbit which looked like a giant holding a large chocolate whip cake. When day turned back into a very lazy evening, the wolf of the dark forest grew into a human gobbling giant, which looked like it was chocking on a not so ugly dog which didn't know he was being touched by a jar full of the most unusual ants in existence. Which according to legend were not that well endowed according to my scale of things.

After much thought, i think that it's time we decided upon a leader for our group of large gum chewing pigs, which hated to go on alone during this time of great doubt. At this point there was a shocking announcement by the only one who could speak.

On the edge of my table with a very large mouth of fangs is a bodacious bungalow-dwelling bat that looked like it was unwell. The bat was planning to escape, where it was hoping to go to the place where it could lick and smell the giant pineapple of Pineor Island. because of that lurid smell which which would drive me into a hysterical, gibbering loony. crazy eating fase of midget purple beans then arrived, a tiny truck covered in a syrup also joined.

A blazing arrow swept past them in a timely a fashion that was very timely in this unusual case. Of course fred got shot with this blazing arrow filled with mashpotato and met his ultimate pie fantasy in which he wallowed in gravy till he saw someone observing him. The observer was getting excited since fred forgot to wax off his red spotted underpants. But as he was still able shout out quot;KKKKKKKKKKKKKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN" he frightened away one of his dreaded arch enemies. The one with the yorkie dog and the shotgun that rotates on a dinner plate that is capable of sub-sonic speeds was deciding upon a public murder, relating to the loss of his most prized duck from his farm.

Fred was a complete twat, although he could read seven different languages but only if he was wearing an otter's fur feeling rather silky and most comfortable. But suddenly a giant angel fish caught his eye with his ultra screwdriver that he got from snakes that lived nearby.

When the world revolved six times around jupiter, cats started to take over the area. They were only three little birds left to defend the nest of the golden eagle, but then the golden eagle appeared out of nowhere because it was very, very angry an burning hot; during when the storm had started a predicted beforehand. To it's surprise a great big phone popped out of a hole which lived around and a round an opaque circle.

The next day, around twelve fortyseven five pigs appeared. "...'ello 'ello 'ello...", said the Policeman. Everyone scarpered. The Policeman ran after them all and then fell over. to his surprise he found a jewel encrusted goblet which he threw up in. "Oh I feel terrible." said Spongebob Squarepants. "Fairy washing-up liquid and lemon sherbets will make my walnut whip melt a public hazard."

Just then, a tomatoe was growing from iPot's Y-fronts It was hairy. And very angry. Like a soorploom full of toothpaste in my anus I hate the negative image of elderly prostitute nuns who like snorting in disgust at the people in white lingerie that enjoy taking lots of unknown drugs. From them on I wanted to sell lots of collectable Batman figurines so i bought jupiter from the shady looking dealer. I soon realised that I had unknowingly purchased a recently deceased pigeon that had a double hip replacement due to having bungee jumped without any form of banana flavoured jelly to land on while circumnavigating the largest squirrel who was one fire.

Oh My God! shouted Peter Parker spiderman of the Mothers Against Internet branch of the silly little bush monsters who live under the bed. To my surprise without another word a huge great story themed thread that had got to be cheesiest started to become the most likely thread in the tight, moist... universe to be found by a small one armed robot.

Then a big brick shithouse fell onto Adzpsp's head. "HALLELUJAH!" Sang all. Unfortunately he didn't die as everyone started the first chocolate fight that mashed up grammatically with all the rowntrees fruit pastilles rebelling against the naughty Christmas puddings. "Damn you!!!" said Santa and the over fed reindeer. But then, unexpectedly empty bubblegum wrappings exploded in sequence whilst the biggest chocolate covered penguin sat in his giant pineapple shaped santa-moble wellst he listened to the evil genius cackling. "Moccasains are made crazy by tickling rabbits where they least expect it" which everyone knows is a very exually active giraffe in these parts.

MEGA HYPER FUN with a giant inflatable sheep dog is quite challenging unless your on several different kinds of adrenaline pills. Sopping wet vaginas suddenly appeared with such vengeance never seen before in a snowmans hat and lunged themselves a a humungous hot air balloon.

Fuzzy fadges rubbing all over the sumo wrestler's back whilst screaming ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! produced an unusual substance that smelt strangely like Vodka. 'MMM Vodka' said the dribbling Polish phallus that happened to be blind. A fart happened to drift in causing the great Mugglewump to shout in sudden rage. "Codswallop!" the Muggelwump whispered as he placed his hand on his gun. "Who are you?" exclaimed our hero. "i am your step-father" said his step-father. Cauliflower can be used too. Ephemeral emotions are not recommended unless you really need to see the big bowl of eternal life, which brings a delicious origami dog the purple bone. Old mother Hubbard went to her secret cookie jar, which she then turned into a lesbian giraffe medal. Those giraffes that fondle disruptive penguins sprang forth when such power that the mightiest of banana flavoured condom collectors dropped dead.

His servant the mightiest of femdom chose to scrap his plans to eat the mice. That never wanted to poison the purple haired camel selling aerosal cans. The market for said product was very sexually frustrated mongeese who often brainwash his employees. Big dogs cocks are not that sexy and so always wash your big dogs cock. On a similar note, I remember doing some kind of voodoo ritual with a spoon.

What happened next is a phrase often used when dog's cocks grow on your forehead when you use sandpaper to scrape along the side of a drunken bottle of fizzy White Lightning cider. Apples are used for circumsising chipmunks. However chipmunks prefer to hide under lesser spotted owls that like wearing pong ping balls until they can find a greater source of energy so that they can fart louder.

As all men who live in underwater bubble houses smell like fish. Unlike the men who live in giant sacks of the biggest potatoes in the cosmos. I like pie and i shall eat one whole big bastard custard tart to prepare myself for the lovely bunch of puddings coming my way. Hairy pastry was coming fom Vanessa's oven. It had a hint of groinal parsley and parmesan cheese so it did. It tasted of sopping wet fannies and also of a very pungent laxative which made anyone who ate it feel ill. Perhaps the most disgusting aspect of this recipe is the colour of the 'secret ingredient' added after roasting the worst tasting potatoes that grew just outside the farmers old socks. Suddenly the LFT sprang into action with such power that is fucking fried that croissant! Not only that but it set a chain reaction creating fart fallout. A global catastrophe Fart fart fart. The end of not only the sentient blancmange but it's entire family.

This story is convoluted and ridiculous according to the circle of life whose patience with blancmange was wearing a dispicable bathrobe with pink frilly gloves. "Give me that sodding cookie right this minute." said that stupid little punk rocker with that smelly odour from his old greasy nose and arm-pits. "Why must you always insist on chewing your own tail?" "Because it tastes like me." said a passing Hoob. He ran after a passing duck only to find Donald Rumsfield licking a book of a syupid giant walrus testicle with an angry pube! A pubic testimony -"color not colour!" revealed an odd looking hunting knife that had the most ugly looking hilt.

"Come here!" shouted Professor Plum whilst he was scrambling out of a dog whom had just fell off a cliff. Not long before midnight, a fire in Ireland has been reported by the local officials. It spread to bonnie wee Scotland and northern England. The Scottish were dancing like wild cavemen as help arrived to show off it's skills. Just as it did, a hurricane passed by destroying the nearby village. Shots were fired, screams were heard drive-thru's made innefficient, redundant tractors exploded, baby-on-a-stick vendors closed, then it happened the worst thing in the history of peanut kind: Peanuts did everything from ruling the floral decorated vases to the darkest were wolf inhabited forest. If only it could manage to be on a bat whilst it fished for octopus. It'll do the world of good if it tied itself to a humungus doughnut, sadly that's not possible. This is because it's partially blind best mate Frank found a pie with an eye patch attached to his upper crust.

The humungus doughnut finally got married to the last words in this thread. However monsters with absolutely enormous teeth ate them.

The world then got rather pissed as it was New Years Eve. A slightly abnormal but ever so tiny little pixie with a huge peanus on its right big toes gradually noticed that someone was following the slightly larger of the two because of their big phallus toe. "Why hello little One-eyed trouser monster" said Sub-Zero and Scorpion together "I do believe that you are eating a pizza." said the little alien from Venus.

It wasn't only a primative marsupial that confused me, but the bonking had the effect of what you'd normally associate with drinking a rather large pint of tasty, nutritious draino. But that's not the only drink in the multiverse. There is also the drink of Bailey's and Apple with custard creams an toffee. Yum.

This can only belongs on a formal tea party. The Mad Hatter despite common misconception is really Hindu and not mad. Another common religion for all inbreds is that of Inbredisation, its ideals with varying aspects such as having an octopus' tentacle inserted up your rectum by a small Indonesian Chmip and a goat. The chimp wasn't spelt correctly by Mr Hooded Avenger, the living God of toenail clippings, egg fried rice, and cheese graters of the horizontal zenith of grass.

Incidentally most Gods were not very accustomed to this merciless attitude towards cheese and pineapple flavoured mugs as the bell tolls. I think that eggs are nice, but only when they are first coated in some good old fashioned elbow grease and brandy flavoured sauce. This can also increase the chance of them being [being] jesus you uneducated little cretin.

On another note crackheads used to be connected to nuns that rode upon open topped monster trucks. "Did you know that I enjoy doing activities involving spinning magical, mystifying, monkey-ish being on a rusty old carousel?" said some Biker from southern Spain. Spaniards normally divulge little rice crackers with chicken soup from Ummpa-land, this magnificent and yet confrontational dish requires a frickin' huge amount of rice from Uncle Ben.

You'll also need a rather large piece of chopped chocolate sprinkles bought in Switzerland on Bandy's skiing trip. To begin with you have to wash you 're Alien Wing Wong and then mix with banana terracotta that smells like something used to hold together the cat and the mouse without letting the ballsweat drip onto your feet or the floor. Bacon eaters anonymous often hold meetings to that kind underneath the big jumbo jet called the cocaine 8ball.

In the meanwhile a boy called TOmTOm shook his booty in the park so he could attract long, slithering, parsnip shaped plastic poking devices. These can cause severe bruises when applied directly to the tissue that causes people to speak of crazy, mad and evil chocolate covered gnomes. They are famous for devouring small snakes. However, the tiny little pixies ran away from the gnomes of the great teapot that covered up lentil-like warts because of Pakistani harlots that dodged massive chocolate and vanilla history teacher who liked to feed random ethnic slurs.

Meanwhile, in a small factory south of the southernest administrative region in my left nipple which happens to knit like my fork that is owned by the fifth king of Napoli. He decided that the best formula one tortoise was to be tied to a large indigo sofa made of indigo and violet peanuts which M&M's are currently killing Adzpsp. We are happy for your loss of your corrupted illegally downloaded pornography involving elephants in rather strange positions like number seventeen, and also sixty-eight. but nothing above the magical value of forty two, which leads us nicely on to the Black Pearl.

Captain Jack was a cross dresser and found that using moisturiser on a certain area would give him an extremely enhanced physique, considering it was only there for the purpose of wooing other cross dressers. This made Pete Doherty go cold turkey with a chicken suit on. However on YourPSP there be dragons, being naughty with particular attention paid to the painting of fat stripper legs.

It was then that my little mobile phone could do the mash, the mobile mash with the lord of the vacuums who muttered words so soothing and sensual that Hannah burst into laughter at the thought of the knights of Cydonia sipping watered down lemonade and munching on large pink fluffy pillows.

"MMM I did it again!" Britney Spears then shaved off her armpit and then gnawed at the old man in vain. He retaliated by throwing a tantrum like no other bow could even hope to try in WoodenDice's Clan News forum.

Unfortunately, a hacker whom we all beat senseless, tried to hax0r teh universe. But suddenly the ultimate defender of the oranges appeared and whipped someones candy ass by eating lemons say the bells from a fisherman pie, yet suspiciously the pie was writing a book about how to make sentient pies that are able seamen. The pie book was published against God's will but went straight after serving 7 long weeks at attention, on parade.

"I like eggs!" cried the Queen of eggland, "Especially since I'm gay!" This statement became a cliché for walking lemonade bottles that didn't actually need to have shaved that morning because they hadn't reached puberty yet but then suddenly they had a burst of energy and lo! angels lay before him a concrete path that was neglected by the midget until the cleaner of Tumbledown Lane came and cleaned the rustic old bottle of water with a large brush without a Dalek to help the doctor with his obsessive-compulsive disorder that meant he had to touch the Delek in the area above the stage.

Meanwhile an intergalactic mushroom decided to take piano lessons bi-weekly unfortunately he became attracted to children and began to throw liquorice at their stupid dummy who had no testes. "Where the hell did my penis come from?" asked Mr Garrison. He'd recently realised that he was actually a raver in a story book, wrote by Michael Jackson, who starred in the feature film 'Rabbits who enjoy leaking cups of beer over the heads, of the society while being raped'.

Spanners offer much use when you boil a pint of mercury which turns into heroin to pour into a pot of flour to make good his offer of a chance in a million to finally win some hair conditioner that would get old in a week. So he set out in search of a a trophy cabinet to display his trophys from the extremely large DVD case which held his trophy cabinets which were cleaned out by Lord Voldemort using a "your mother" attack which is illegal because it counters Charizards flamethrower attact which is featured in FHM every 3rd issue when I feel like singing songs about truckers going to the toilet on route 66.

Meanwhile evofan couldn't punctuate on Wissam's book so he got a custard pie to assassinate Mr. George W. Bush while he is in bed drinking and reading his policy on the bitch slapping. However, his wife shouted "I want pudding" to her secret pudding making machine which was bought from Poundland when £1 could buy a real dinosaur made of sausages. Sausages also make a great shotgun if cooked with whale blubber, sold at thruppence-ha'penny every Monday and Friday. On Wednesdays, however whale blubber costs next to nothing due to tax rebates in July when it is really, really smelly on the PSP forums because of cool=psp and frozen=psp 'shakin' their thangs,' and their thongs whilst giving nightmares to small rodents wearing ninja outfits stained with a suspicious yellow colour that was obtained by a download of Paris Hilton videos on google Paris Hilton section now removed because of over use which caused bandwith problems in Germany.

Unfortunately for Hitler, the Germans decided that Lord Piggington was a tramp killing rich snob who's communist qualities earned him several golden tickets to see Flamekebab perform open heart surgery on an obese 20 year old open heart. The fifty thousand pounds found by the cast of Grease was lost within a whole new open heart, so then the police took out their open-heart man that was carrying an open heart that was about to explode into a heart of cheese from a slightly lesser known town of Soltan.

"What the heck is that cucumber doing on the mantlepiece next to her erotic magazines containing sheep in baked beans or tinned tomatoes.["] However I ate them with a big satchel of iced fairy cakes which tasted more like gnome cakes which had actually been sentenced to death for drink driving while under the bridge over troubled drug dealers while blasting old ladies with a powerful smack from a professional kick boxer and his wife's weird younger brother who suffered from heart burn and fart burn, she went to the city of London school for girls and spicy currys that attacked pupils and corneas, but something happened which resulted in a train falling off the internet and landing on FURYpwns' friend Wissam who the real Wissam was laughing at as he had been born without skin.

"I wish I had skin" said Wissam the fake one, not as FURYpwns said I am hungry, bitch". So anyway, getting back to Fred the twat, arse and generally homosexual cunt; he wasn't expecting cunt-like organs to burst out of his own inflatable cunt-like organs which in turn burst out of his own cunt which is impossible to manage, due to synergy problems, but all was quite, all through September the 17th, the arse-to-mouth day and day for the Wooden Dice Sponsored Orgy, yet nobody seems to reprimand severe intellect as Lord Piggington went to an historic arse-to-mouth festival where Trisdee ate a spoonful of liquid nitrogen which gave him special dispensation to fondle Josh's lovely handmade sex dolls, however Josh found out about a rival farmer, who sold mutated garden trowels by the dozen and buy one egg, and you get a free beating by hired hitmen who eat rancid tomatoes and PAINpwns's farm in the West Midlands.

In the news recently, I heard that John Lennon was a zombie and Paul McCartney was taken in to examin the undead body. However, Lennon wasn't having any of that mustard in the syringe prepared by Dracula, Frankenstein and Mr Bean, but instead, he grabbed McCartney's huge erect pump action shotgun and shot himself with his camera which he held hostage for weeks in an Egyptian, however, it broke and the camera ran for freedom. Unfortunately, it got eaten by a pond, and then exploded in a low budget explosion consisting of gunpowder, so food tasted of fireworks mixed with flower produced in a kiln back in old people's.

Today, but not yesterday, came a spambot by the name of the one ring worn by Susan Saurondon, evil hairdresser from bangledesh. Hairdressers usually buy songs from iTunes as well as tramps from trampshops, not to mention hobos from hoboshops, which would explain why we're overrun with dirty, diseased computer viruses that install spyware that kills cows and stab chickens while raping hundreds of Mexican coffee beans that are unrapeable unless covered with fire support from Gordon Brown, the evil Scottish warlock who, upon revealing his new set of painted butterflies and highly flamable fire lighters, returning from Alpha Centauri with a lot of shit.

Now, quieten down, children, in three years time, aliens will return", said Jesus, mournfully, "I will make you curry for those camels, got it? Good." Jesus then launched a lorry filled with copies of Elasticbandy's diary which were highly inflammable because of the secrets it contained such as the size of Snape's wand and his remembralls. This caused uproar with the sheep that liked the diary, because he forgot Grandma's alcohol induced coma that happened yesterday, but not today, because that would mess up the balanced system of metric and imperial chocolates.

This caused cannabis to become enraged and attack PAINpwns' collection of highly collectable dildos produced by Santa but tested by monkeys in cars made by Skoda. They were Fabias without a care in the world apart from the fear of death and stench of beans on toast emitting from the radioactive hologram that danced to and from Cardiff.

Suddenly it went dark and bright, 'cause no-one can tell if the Deluminator liked pizza or simply spaghetti bolognaise served on a 40GB hard drive's mother's uncle's cousin once removed from a cheese. 'Fuck,' said the donkey on his Dung Hill Mansion pondering over the pond, "I really wish old Flashheart would transform into me." Then with a cheese sandwich he ate his own enormous penis with a side of white sauce.

Unfortunately for Jesus, he drank beer made of the sperm and pubic DNA of the white sauce's mother which, in turn, wrote a novel on some wax sex toys made in Luxemburg.

Orange, the mobile network, is monopolising the Wooden Dice bandwagon which causes a rise in sales in the north end of China Town, where many bisexuals ate loads of cocks and chocolate chip cookies that emulated cocks with 1 pube made of stone.

Stony cocks are wissam's favorite food served with some warmed up tits. And yummy jam is good, too. Terrorists, however, aren't. Terrorists kill innocent spring onions thinking of nothing but bluetooth headsets that feast on young Welsh and Scottish vanilla pods but irish people from Lebanon like too whip miserable peasants but the whips were German, like cookies that taste like horse shit. And rear mounted, high definition cameras. Homosexuals who believe, like donkey, that AOL provides a small, large chicken nuggest from KFC.

Nuggest, a non-word, was derived from pharmaceuticals, though how the word nugacity sounds very entertaining and very smart, so smart they surpass Surreal's surreal nightmares and wet dreams and what have you. Killed a pony said Honda Lad, the founder of the lost ring from the film about nipple clamps that was downloaded by giant badgers that were in tuxedos that contains loads of Cocaine made from the Bottom of Mordor by hungry people in straight jackets made of cathedral city cheese, with the makers of the Deathly Hallows dressed as the balrog of morgoth that opened the early christmas presents which were found and lost by santa the imposter uncoverer.

With a blow on the dusty old book of Armaments, Fred read a paragraph containing Bruce Almighty's confession of which PAINpwns blowed him while Hippysnake watched an Irish Boy smoke crack with a bag of Hot chili powder and miniature catflaps, mixed with salmonella and a bit of toxic blast and salsa. However, the side effects of severe bromohydrosis which kills you and also ergophobia which rapes you In the bum.

'What the fuck happened to my chamber of secrets?', said Harry Potter as Voldemort opened Hermionie's very little internet hacking toolkit that was missing from the penultimate guide for hackers 101. This made a huge problem

Number of words: 5919

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CHARACTERS (in order of appearance)

1. Jim
2. Sisters from an extra large fascist convent
3. An incredibly horribly and ginormous Dilophosaurus-like creature
4. Uncle John
5. Hairy loo-loiterers
6. His [Jim's?] turd-grabbing mother
7. Jesus
8. Sidney
9. Small furry boys
10. Stupid American people
11. Magical tea birds
12. A small ferret man
13. Johnny
14. Pigeons
15. The French man
16. A spider that ate tiny pigs
17. A fairy godmother who had something growing peculiarly on her leg
18. The old creepy man
19. The giant fish
20. Chuck Norris
21. Michael Jackson
22. Michael Jackson's new special friend, a ten your-old white wolf
23. A huge brown deer
24. A scorned handicapped bisexual
25. The donkey
26. An ignorant little shit
27. A dead zombie cowboy
28. A sweet Chuck Norris lookalike teenage girl
29. A Giant green slug
30. His mother
31. Bob
32. The only King of Persia
33. The lazy cow
34. The world's greatest dancing camel of Camelot
35. Fred*
36. Pokemon
37. A great big pineapple
38. A small man
39. The grimy sea bathroom
40. Your mom [mum]
41. Locusts
42. A type of fish eating doughnut, which turns into a rabbit that looks like a giant holding a large chocolate whip cake
43. The wolf of the dark forest, which grows into a human gobbling giant
44. A not so ugly dog
45. A [our] group of large gum chewing pigs
46. An observer
47. One of Fred's dreaded arch enemies, the one with the Yorkie dog and the shotgun that rotates on a dinner plate etc.
48. His [Fred's?] most prized duck
49. A giant angel fish
50. Snakes
51. Cats
52. Three little birds defending the nest of the golden eagle
53. The golden eagle
54. A great big phone
55. Five pigs
56. The Policeman
57. Spongebob
58. iPot
59. Elderly prostitute nuns
60. A shady looking dealer
61. A recently deceased pigeon
62. A squirrel
63. Peter Parker, spiderman of the Mothers Against Internet branch of the silly little bush monsters who live under the bed
64. A small one-armed robot
65. Adzpsp
66. Santa
67. Santa's overfed reindeer
68. The biggest chocolate covored penguin
69. A very sexually active giraffe
70. A giant inflatable sheep dog
71. A sumo wrestler
72. The dribbling Polish phallus that happened to be blind
73. The great Mugglewump
74. The great Mugglewump's stepfather
75. A delicious origami dog
76. Old mother Hubbard
77. Old mother Hubbard's secret cookie jar which she turns into a lesbian giraffe medal
78. The mightiest of banana flavoured condom collectors
79. His servant the mightiest of femdom
80. The purple haired camel selling aerosol cans
81. Very sexually frustrated mongeese
82. Chipmunks
83. Lesser spotted owls that like wearing pong ping [sic] balls until they can find a greater source of energy so that they can fart louder
84. Men who live in underwater bubble houses
85. Men who live in giant sacks of the biggest potatoes in the cosmos
86. Vanessa
87. A stupid little punk rocker
88. A Hoob [sic]
89. A duck
90. Donald Rumsfeld
91. A stupid giant walrus testicle with an angry pube!
92. Professor Plum
93. Some local officials
94. Dancing Scotsmen
95. Peanuts
96. A humongous doughnut
97. Monsters with absolutely enormous teeth
98. The world
99. A tiny little pixie
100. A one-eyed trouser monster
101. Sub-Zero
102. Scorpion
103. The little alien from Venus
104. The Mad Hatter
105. Mr Hooded Avenger, the living God of toenail clippings, egg fried rice, and cheese graters of the horizontal zenith of grass
106. Gods
107. The bell tolls
108. You uneducated little cretin
109. Crackheads
110. Nuns that rode upon open topped monster trucks
111. Some biker from southern Spain
112. Spaniards
113. Uncle Ben
114. Bandy
115. Your alien Wing Wong
116. Bacon eaters
117. A boy called TOmTOm
118. More tiny little pixies
119. Gnomes
120. Pakistani harlots
121. The fifth king of Napoli
122. Captain Jack, a cross dresser
123. Pete Doherty
124. The lord of the vacuums
125. Hannah
126. The knights of Cydonia
127. Britney Spears
128. The old man
129. A hacker
130. The ultimate defender of the oranges
131. Someone's candy ass [arse]
132. The Queen of Eggland
133. Walking lemonade bottles
134. Angels
135. The midget
136. The cleaner of Tumbledown Lane
137. A Dalek
138. An intergalactic mushroom
139. The intergalactic mushroom's stupid dummy who had no testes
140. Mr Garrison
141. Rabbits who "enjoy leaking cups of beer over the heads, of the society while being raped"
142. Spanners
143. Lord Voldemort (using a "your mother" attack)
144. evofan
145. Wissam
146. George W. Bush
147. His wife
148. Small rodents wearing ninja outfits
149. Paris Hilton
150. Hitler
151. The Germans
152. Lord Piggington
153. Flamekebab
154. An obese 20 year-old open heart [sic]
155. The cast of Grease
156. The police
157. Troubled drug dealers
158. Old ladies who get smacked by a professional kick boxer
159. A professional kick boxer
160. Professional kick boxer's wife's weird younger brother who suffer from heart burn and fart burn
161. Spicy currys [sic] that attacked pupils and corneas
162. FURYpwns
163. Wissam (impersonator)
164. The real Wissam
165. Trisdee
166. Josh
167. Josh's rival farmer
168. Hitmen who eat rancid tomatoes and PAINpwns's farm in the West Midlands
169. PAINpwns
170. John Lennon, a zombie
171. Paul McCartney
172. Dracula
173. Frankenstein
174. Mr Bean
175. An Egyptian, in whom John Lennon's camera was held hostage
176. A pond
177. A spambot by the name of the one ring worn by Susan Saurandon
178. Susan Saurandon, an evil hairdresser from bangledesh [sic]
179. Hairdressers
180. Tramps
181. Hobos
182. Spyware that kills cows and stab chickens while raping hundreds of Mexican coffee beans
183. Gordon Brown
183. Gordon Brown, an evil Scottish warlock
184. Gordon Brown's painted butterflies
185. Gordon Brown's highly flamable [sic] fire lighters
186. Aliens
187. Elasticbandy (or rather copies of her diary)
188. Snape
189. Sheep
190. Grandma
191. PAINpwns
192. Santa
193. Monkeys in cars made by Skoda (Fabia's)
194. Spaghetti bolognaise served on a 40GB hard drive's mother's uncle's cousin once removed from a cheese
195. [Lord] Flashheart
196. Orange, a mobile network
197. Wooden Dice bandwagon
198. Bisexuals
199. Terrorists
200. Young Welsh and Scottish vanilla pods
201. Irish people from Lebanon
202. Miserable peasants
203. German whips
204. AOL
205. Surreal [Nightmare]
206. Honda Lad, founder of the lost ring from the film about nipple clamps
207. Giant badgers in tuxedos
208. Bottom of Mordor
209. Hungry people in straight jackets
210. Makers of the Deathly Hallows
211. Balrog of Morgoth
212. Santa the imposter uncoverer
213. Bruce Almighty
214. Hippysnake
215. An Irish Boy
216. Toxic blast(?)
217. Harry Potter
218. Voldemort
219. Hermionie [sic]

---------------------------------

*Fred facts:
1. Fred was a complete twat
2. Fred "could read seven different languages but only if he was wearing an otter's fur feeling rather silky and most comfortable"
3. Fred got shot by a blazing arrow filled with mashed potatoes
4. Fred was a homosexual cunt
5. Fred had cunt-like organs bursting out of his own cunt-like organs
6. Fred read a paragraph containing Bruce Almighty's confession of which PAINpwns blowed him while Hippysnake watched an Irish Boy smoke crack with a bag of Hot chili powder and miniature catflaps, mixed with salmonella and a bit of toxic blast and salsa

[keychain4]

Quick! Take this to a publishers
This story just gets funnier and funnier

[Trisdee]

I think it would be even funnier if some people would pay a little more attention to where the story is going. Or simply the sentence. This, for example, just annoys me:

"Nuggest, a non-word, was derived from pharmaceuticals, though how the word nugacity sounds very entertaining and very smart, so smart they surpass Surreal's surreal nightmares and wet dreams and what have you"

But maybe that's the whole point of the game, I don't know...

[Wissam]

Hahaha, so funny!

*splits sides*

[Trisdee]

*splits sides*

Thank God I wore my corset...

[Wissam]

*chuckles*

*sniggers*

*chuckers*

*sniggles*

[cheesemoo0]

Trisdee I can't believe you did all that...

Wissam wtf?